Those who are super close to me know that I've been going through a really rough time in my life the last couple of months. While HCG has worked for many and it may have even worked for me, I feel my story is important to be heard as I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I have joined a program to help me with anxiety and panic disorder. These two disorders are real and they are not even the slightest bit of fun. There are millions of people dealing with different levels of severity of anxiety and panic disorder and while it may be easy to tell us to "just calm down," "you're not dying," "you'll get over it," for us it is real and it is scary.
So scary in fact, I actually bought an infomerical because it was doing that or the thought of going completely over the edge and going nutty. (Little did I know at the time that this cannot happen with PAD but it sure felt like I was!)
Anyone is suffering from GAD (general anxiety disorder) or PAD (panic attack disorder) please look this program up and see if it's for you. There are no medications, just some techniques that you can read about and download as audio/visual as well as a forum full of people who feel JUST LIKE YOU!!! Look up Panic Away (it's on Facebook and Google)
WIthout this program, prayer, my family (especially my mother!!!) and a lot of love from everyone who cares about me, I'm fairly certain I would still be pinging off the walls and unable to function.
I'm not 100% just yet but for the first time since February 8th I did not worry about my blood pressure or my heart beat and guess what???? I am FINE! (that's liberating thing to say) Will there be set backs? Probably and almost certain as GAD is hard to be rid of (and believe it or not a lot of us deal with it....sometimes we don't even know it)
Anyways.....I want to share my story and the intro I started with the Panic Away forum. Naysayers can stay quiet but if this blog helps just one more person other than myself then it's worth it to share my personal business with folks. I don't wish these feelings on my worst of enemies.
My Story.....
HI!
My anxiety actually started 8 or 9 years ago (but I didn't know it!) I would wake up in full panic attacks at night. This went on for several months and I told my doctor about it and she gave me a few Xanax to help me get back to sleep. I took those for a few times and then realized, "hey this is a panic attack, these feelings are uncomfortable but I'm not dying" and I would go back to bed. They then went away.....until December 2010.
I had an PSVT moment at my gym at my early morning Turbokick class. My heart rate went to 220 bpm and got stuck. 911 was called and the EMTs gave me a medicine that dropped my heart rate down to 148 bmp. By the time I got to the hospital my heart rate was slowly making its way back down to normal ranges. While in the ambulance though I had this thought that these were my last few minutes on earth and I didn't accomplish the things I wanted to accomplish. There was no thoughts of my family or my friends just "I didn't get to do anything I really wanted to do." After staying at the hospital for a few hours and being cleared of heart attack or anything serious I was told I had a PSVT (it's a really long word but basically tachycardia) and that it may never happen again in my life or it may prove to happen more often but the ER doctor was pretty certain that because my potassium was low it was an electrolyte imbalance and that I would be fine (and most likely never experience this again as long as I kept up my electrolytes as I had just gone to a bachelorette party the weekend before)
I checked in with my doctor and was told to wear a 24 hr Holter monitor by a cardio doctor. Everything was fine....blood pressure was good but just a bit of a fast heart here and there as I would get anxious about things happening again. It would be six weeks till my next cardio doctor appt as I wasn't considered a major event. OK...I'm good with this.
I then did the HCG diet by drops. I did it for a week and the panic attacks started. I stopped the drops immediately but the panic and anxiety set in as a wave. Went to the doctor and was givien Xananx but noticed my blood pressure was elevated (140/84) My cardio appt was approaching and I was beginning to get nervous about what they would tell me. Anxiety and panic set in and wouldn't leave. All day, every day for about two weeks. It was then my blood pressure was sticking in the 150/95's. Went to the ER a few times and it would be 170/109 but they would monitor me for a bit and it would go back down 130/90 and then 124/84 (almost where it normally lives). As soon as they went to discharge me it spiked back up to 140/104. I went to the cardio doc where he dismissed it as SVT and surgery would be needed as he saw my Holter monitor go up to 160 bpm, when I asked him where on the test this was seen he said he didn't know as he didn't look at the chart himself. My primary doctor told me to exercise while wearing it so the cardio doctor would see what my heart would do so naturally it would go to 160 bpm. At this point, I don't believe I have SVT and the thought of surgery scares the crap out of me.
At this point I start freaking out, "like what is going on?!?" Primary doctor did every test in the book (plus all the heart tests I had just done four weeks prior). CT scan, adnominal ultrasound, blood work, etc. Nothing. So I was given the diagnosis of anxiety and hypertension caused by anxiety. Doctor said as soon as you can get this anxiety under control you can probably get your blood pressure under control. More Xanax and then Lexapro were given with a diuretic. Well....diuretics don't control blood pressure when it's anxiety related and they strip the body of ELECTROLYTES. Went back to the Dr (actually a different one but same clinic) told her my story and she said stop the diuretic but take the Lexepro and Xanax for onset symptoms. She believes that the HCG was the match to my bonfire of anxiety that has built up over the years. I took the Lexepro for two days and it made my heart palpitations worst so the pharmacist said stop the Lexapro and just use the Xanax for onset symptoms and then follow up with normal check up that I have in two weeks.
Started taking vitamins (doctor is aware) and reading the powers of magnesium and it's importance in the body. Basic things like eye twitching has stopped but the anxiety is still there. I've only had a handful of panic attacks in the last two weeks but I wake up thinking about all of this and I go to bed thinking about all this. I'm convinced I'm going to end up with a heart attack or stroke at times when the anxiety is at its worse even though the doctors have all told me I'm healthy (3 ER doctors, main doctor, fill in doctor and cardio doctor) but I can't get the thoughts of my health out of my head. I've literally been scared that my BP is going to kill me. The Rational person still inside my head (who is getting stronger day by day thankfully) tells the irrational self that I need to acknowledge it as anxiety and move on. It just doesn't help when my chest gets tight and my neck and face get tight and I feel like it's hard to breath and I know that's causing my BP to spike into unhealthy ranges.
I'm 31 years old, female, living in Anchorage Alaska. I've been married to my husband for five years and I work full-time at the local university. All I keep thinking is I want my life back. So I started internet searching anxiety and found Panic Away and actually even found it at 3 am when it was on an informercial when I was having my first bits of insomnia.
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